Mismatchers look for differences.
All of us know someone in our lives who doesn’t agree with us – no matter what we say.
You know the person! When you say black, they’ll say white.
They focus on the validity of smaller points in the argument versus seeing the big picture. We tend to be creatures of habit and look at a situation the same way, either agreeing or disagreeing with others.
Meta-programs are automatic-pilot programs our brain uses to simplify how we look at the world. We have preferences for considering the overview or the details, what we focus on in a conversation, and the questions we use to solve problems.
Two other major categories include whether we tend to agree with what is being said, matching the flow of the conversation, or mismatch by taking a contrary position.
Matchers respond to the world by finding sameness or by looking for the commonality of thought or design.
Mismatchers can also look for the way something is flawed, the exception to the rule, or a false premise. They frequently use the phrase, “well, actually….”
A mismatcher can be interesting or annoying, depending on their level of self-awareness of their impact pattern of behavior on others.
You can leverage the strength of a mismatcher by using them as faultfinders because they tend to be very smart and analytical. They are frequently accomplished engineers, software programmers, attorneys, CPAs, economists, and managers.
If you want to influence a mismatcher, present your suggestion in the negative by saying, “you probably are not going to like or agree with this,” or “I have an idea that may not work, but I want to see what you think.” Remember, mismatchers frequently take the contrary position; so direct appeals may not be effective.
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