Everybody is a little extreme.
Who is everybody? Can I be 100% confident EVERYBODY hates me? I think my Mom likes me…at least a little bit.
In all seriousness, how often you use words like: all, nobody, everybody, always, and never?
“Everyone is struggling.”
“No one is doing well in this economy.”
“I always get passed over for promotions.”
“He never listens to me.”
The use of these universal qualifiers justifies your own perceived limitations and because of their frequent use they are acceptable as absolute truth. After all, if everybody knows this or nobody does that you don’t want to the one person who disagrees with everybody or does what nobody would do?
Although universal qualifiers allow you to feel better in the moment, they do not serve you long-term. These words literally shut down the part of your brain that searches for solutions because you have already concluded there aren’t any available.
You may not be able to control the first thought that comes into your mind, but you can control those that follow. Listen to your qualifying statements and begin questioning your beliefs from there. Start by asking:
“Is the statement true?”
“Are there any examples where it is not true?”
“If it weren’t true, what could you believe?”
Also consider open-ended questions to stay resourceful and use exaggeration to find counter examples.
“You mean EVERYBODY is struggling?”
“What industry/business/person is doing well in this economy?”
“What would it take to get promoted?”
“When has he listened to you?”
Unless you are all-knowing (which none of us are), find comfort in the fact there are always exceptions to a universal qualifier. Find the exception and stay resourceful!
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Much Success!
Have an outstanding day!!
Sara